Our Journey To Becoming a Family

Our adoption journey began in July of 2006. My husband and I attended church that day and heard a message from a visiting minister. He briefly spoke about orphanages he had visited in Africa that were literally overrun with children. Ryan and I had been married for 5 years at that time and yearned to have a family of our own. As time went by it seemed we would not be able to have biological children. We had discussed adoption but just weren’t sure if that was the way the Lord was leading us. As we spoke to each other that evening we both realized we had gotten the same calling from that pastor’s message. We were convinced we were to adopt, and specifically from Africa.
At this time in our lives we had a foreign exchange student living with us so we decided to hold off on starting this very time consuming process until she would return home. In September we sent out the first documents and chose an adoption agency. We found Acres of Hope in Wisconsin and began to pursue adoption. This agency deals only with adoptions from Liberia, Africa. This is a country that was founded by freed American slaves in the 1800’s. It is a country that has seen many years of civil war and resulting poverty. In Liberia there is very little running water, electricity, or opportunity.
It wasn’t until January of 2007 that all of our paperwork was completed and we were ready to accept a referral. Throughout the paperwork process we had discussed adopting 2 children but prepared our paperwork to accept 3 children, just in case.
On the day we were “paper ready” I called our agency and the office director began reading me a list of names to choose from. All of the children on this list had been waiting for some time and many were what is considered an “undesirable” age for adoption. I had originally planned on adopting 2 children under the age of 3 but God had different plans for our family. As she read me the list 3 names stood out vividly. They were twin boys age 4 ½ and a girl age 2.
When Ryan came home that night I looked up the waiting children’s list online and had him look at the names. I prefaced this by saying I had picked out 3 particular children. Needless to say, a shock to him that we might adopt 3. After a few minutes scanning the list of about 14 available children, Ryan chose the same 3 I had chosen. That sealed the deal and we called our agency. The adoption process had now officially begun and we expected that in no more than 9 months, and hopefully less, we would travel to Africa to bring home our 3 children. Unfortunately, that was not going to be the case.
About 3 months into the process I got a call from the agency and was regretfully informed that our little girl’s family had returned to the orphanage and taken her home. Don’t get me wrong, I think it is best for a child to be raised by their biological parents when possible. However, I feared for her health as she had been brought to the orphanage at the age of 2 weighing only 16 pounds and very malnourished.
We were devastated by this loss but not deterred in our efforts and conviction to adopt from Liberia. I spoke with the agency about the possibility of adopting another girl and 6 weeks later we received the referral for a 2 ½ month old baby girl. We were excited and ready to continue down this already bumpy road of international adoption.
While waiting for the adoption and paperwork to be completed in Africa we set about filling our time. We held multiple fundraisers that were well attended by our family, friends, and community. Even though God calls us to adopt, and it is a very worthy cause, it is also very expensive. International adoption can cost from $10,000 to $30,000 per child. We got the rooms ready for the children and child proofed our house. I also read countless books on adoption to prepare for whatever may be.
After 12 full months of waiting, so much for 9 months maximum, we were going to Africa to bring our children home. When we arrived in Africa on January 12th the orphanage nurse informed us that our baby had been sick for about 1 week with a high fever. She told us not to worry and just to control the fever. As she knows from living in Africa babies can often become sick with Malaria. In fact our baby had already been hospitalized once with a case of Malaria. She had tested her and the test was negative.
The next morning we met our children for the first time. Words cannot describe how overjoyed we were. The boys were sweet and affectionate, the baby a precious chunky little girl of 9 months. We played, bonded, and started our life as a new family.
By the 3rd day with the children the baby seemed to be getting sicker. We took her to the hospital and sadly found out that she did indeed have Malaria. The test had been wrong and now we had a very sick baby. I spent the next three days by her side in the hospital. Unless you have traveled to a Third World Country you cannot imagine the conditions we found at the hospital, one of the best in town. As my child laid in the hospital bed fire ants climbed the walls of her crib, cockroaches scampered across the floor, electricity was intermittent at best. We were truly foreigners in a foreign land with a very sick baby that we already loved dearly.
Unfortunately, on her fourth day in the hospital our baby girl passed away and went to be with the Lord. We give thanks that we were able to hold her, parent her, and more than anything fall in love with her before she left this world. We know that God had a plan for her and for us and we must believe that He will not give us more than we can bear. That same afternoon we had a funeral service for her and she was buried in her native country, never to see the beauty and prosperity of America.
This time of great sorrow was bittersweet. While we grieved the loss of our daughter we were in awe of the joy brought to us by our new sons. We were blessed to finally know the kind of love a parent has for their children.
We returned home to a huge group of family and friends on January 21st and our life as a family is now in full swing. The boys continue to bring joy to our lives and we cannot wait to see what the Lord has in store for us and for them.
We thank you as a community for your prayers and support throughout this journey. Adoption has brought us the deepest joy and the greatest sorrow but we are so happy to have followed the Lord’s leading for our lives. He doesn’t promise us it will be easy, but He does promise us He will be with us throughout the journey, good or bad.