Last night we had one of our first real challenges with the boys. Dinnertime has been a struggle lately and especially Ezra does not want to eat what I have been making. The boys even requested that Papa do the cooking from now on!! Trust me, my cooking has not been that bad.
So last night we sit down to eat and immediately Ezra says he doesn't like the food. He hadn't even given it a chance. Then Addai jumps on the bandwagon and is picking at the food on his plate. So after about 1 hour we decided they were finished. We made them throw the food in the trash, or as they say "junk it" and go to bed early. I know they are adapting to so many things right now and some may feel that they simply aren't accustomed to our food. But we truly feel they are just trying to see where Mama and Papa will draw the line.
Needless to say it broke this Mama's heart to have to follow through with this discipline all night. I wanted to call my Mom even though it would mean an "I told you it always hurt me more than it was hurting you" lecture! But I toughed it out and so did the boys, and thankfully God grants us the opportunity to start everyday anew.
Today the boys were absolute joys and pushed us much less. We really had a great day with them. We went to my place of work and the staff there had a huge Welcome Home party for them. The department was decorated with streamers and balloons and the boys couldn't wipe the silly grins off their faces. They were showered with gifts and to top it all off they presented each boy with a brand new bike! We were blown away by their generosity to say the least. Thanks girls!! (and guys).
After the party we went to the boys first doctor appointment. He thinks they are doing really well and we agree. They then had to go get blood drawn. We explained on the way there what they would be doing and Addai said "I will cry" and Mama said that is just fine! Ezra of course then had to say "I will not cry". Have I mentioned these boys are like night and day?! They both got the labs done and neither one cried. They are troopers and Addai is so brave. He even volunteered to be first.
One more kid story then I will stop boring you. On the way home from church tonight Ezra said he had something in his shoe. Now with the boys' accents it is no small task to figure these things out. Once we did it sounded like he was saying he had a duck in his shoe, he was actually saying dirt. So then Papa says is it saying "Quack, Quack" and from the back of the van Adddai pipes up and says a dog doesn't say "Quack, Quack", it says "Woof, Woof"! So basically no one in the car was understanding anybody else in the car which makes for a very interesting conversation, especially when it involves 2 five year old boys. Ryan and I were cracking up and had tears in our eyes. Addai says "Why are you laughing at us" and we say because you are funny. He thens says "We make you happy?" and we both chime in a resounding "Yes".
The ups and downs of parenting. I wouldn't trade it for anything!!
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Sunday, January 27, 2008
First Sunday
Well we survived our first Sunday back at church. It was really a blessing to be back around our church family. They have been so supportive throughout this adventure. When we were in Africa we knew they had us covered in prayers and that they still do. What a feeling that is.
The boys and I had a rocky start this morning. When Papa is gone it is 2 against 1 and Mama is left to fend for herself!! I managed but could tell I was certainly outnumbered and out-smarted by those 2 boys!
It was funny at church to see people's reactions to the boys. We had a congregational meal after church and after eating the boys went to play in the nursery. I went down after a little while to check on them and the nursery was full of children and adults just watching the kids play. You could see the joy and delight that Ezra and Addai bring to those around them. It was great to see people so amused at the smallest things!
The boys are down for a nap now (praise the Lord for small favors!) and I am catching up around the house and promising to give myself a few minutes to read and sip hot cocoa. We'll see if that dream comes to fruition.
Bye for now.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Our Journey To Becoming a Family
Our adoption journey began in July of 2006. My husband and I attended church that day and heard a message from a visiting minister. He briefly spoke about orphanages he had visited in Africa that were literally overrun with children. Ryan and I had been married for 5 years at that time and yearned to have a family of our own. As time went by it seemed we would not be able to have biological children. We had discussed adoption but just weren’t sure if that was the way the Lord was leading us. As we spoke to each other that evening we both realized we had gotten the same calling from that pastor’s message. We were convinced we were to adopt, and specifically from Africa.
At this time in our lives we had a foreign exchange student living with us so we decided to hold off on starting this very time consuming process until she would return home. In September we sent out the first documents and chose an adoption agency. We found Acres of Hope in Wisconsin and began to pursue adoption. This agency deals only with adoptions from Liberia, Africa. This is a country that was founded by freed American slaves in the 1800’s. It is a country that has seen many years of civil war and resulting poverty. In Liberia there is very little running water, electricity, or opportunity.
It wasn’t until January of 2007 that all of our paperwork was completed and we were ready to accept a referral. Throughout the paperwork process we had discussed adopting 2 children but prepared our paperwork to accept 3 children, just in case.
On the day we were “paper ready” I called our agency and the office director began reading me a list of names to choose from. All of the children on this list had been waiting for some time and many were what is considered an “undesirable” age for adoption. I had originally planned on adopting 2 children under the age of 3 but God had different plans for our family. As she read me the list 3 names stood out vividly. They were twin boys age 4 ½ and a girl age 2.
When Ryan came home that night I looked up the waiting children’s list online and had him look at the names. I prefaced this by saying I had picked out 3 particular children. Needless to say, a shock to him that we might adopt 3. After a few minutes scanning the list of about 14 available children, Ryan chose the same 3 I had chosen. That sealed the deal and we called our agency. The adoption process had now officially begun and we expected that in no more than 9 months, and hopefully less, we would travel to Africa to bring home our 3 children. Unfortunately, that was not going to be the case.
About 3 months into the process I got a call from the agency and was regretfully informed that our little girl’s family had returned to the orphanage and taken her home. Don’t get me wrong, I think it is best for a child to be raised by their biological parents when possible. However, I feared for her health as she had been brought to the orphanage at the age of 2 weighing only 16 pounds and very malnourished.
We were devastated by this loss but not deterred in our efforts and conviction to adopt from Liberia. I spoke with the agency about the possibility of adopting another girl and 6 weeks later we received the referral for a 2 ½ month old baby girl. We were excited and ready to continue down this already bumpy road of international adoption.
While waiting for the adoption and paperwork to be completed in Africa we set about filling our time. We held multiple fundraisers that were well attended by our family, friends, and community. Even though God calls us to adopt, and it is a very worthy cause, it is also very expensive. International adoption can cost from $10,000 to $30,000 per child. We got the rooms ready for the children and child proofed our house. I also read countless books on adoption to prepare for whatever may be.
After 12 full months of waiting, so much for 9 months maximum, we were going to Africa to bring our children home. When we arrived in Africa on January 12th the orphanage nurse informed us that our baby had been sick for about 1 week with a high fever. She told us not to worry and just to control the fever. As she knows from living in Africa babies can often become sick with Malaria. In fact our baby had already been hospitalized once with a case of Malaria. She had tested her and the test was negative.
The next morning we met our children for the first time. Words cannot describe how overjoyed we were. The boys were sweet and affectionate, the baby a precious chunky little girl of 9 months. We played, bonded, and started our life as a new family.
By the 3rd day with the children the baby seemed to be getting sicker. We took her to the hospital and sadly found out that she did indeed have Malaria. The test had been wrong and now we had a very sick baby. I spent the next three days by her side in the hospital. Unless you have traveled to a Third World Country you cannot imagine the conditions we found at the hospital, one of the best in town. As my child laid in the hospital bed fire ants climbed the walls of her crib, cockroaches scampered across the floor, electricity was intermittent at best. We were truly foreigners in a foreign land with a very sick baby that we already loved dearly.
Unfortunately, on her fourth day in the hospital our baby girl passed away and went to be with the Lord. We give thanks that we were able to hold her, parent her, and more than anything fall in love with her before she left this world. We know that God had a plan for her and for us and we must believe that He will not give us more than we can bear. That same afternoon we had a funeral service for her and she was buried in her native country, never to see the beauty and prosperity of America.
This time of great sorrow was bittersweet. While we grieved the loss of our daughter we were in awe of the joy brought to us by our new sons. We were blessed to finally know the kind of love a parent has for their children.
We returned home to a huge group of family and friends on January 21st and our life as a family is now in full swing. The boys continue to bring joy to our lives and we cannot wait to see what the Lord has in store for us and for them.
We thank you as a community for your prayers and support throughout this journey. Adoption has brought us the deepest joy and the greatest sorrow but we are so happy to have followed the Lord’s leading for our lives. He doesn’t promise us it will be easy, but He does promise us He will be with us throughout the journey, good or bad.
At this time in our lives we had a foreign exchange student living with us so we decided to hold off on starting this very time consuming process until she would return home. In September we sent out the first documents and chose an adoption agency. We found Acres of Hope in Wisconsin and began to pursue adoption. This agency deals only with adoptions from Liberia, Africa. This is a country that was founded by freed American slaves in the 1800’s. It is a country that has seen many years of civil war and resulting poverty. In Liberia there is very little running water, electricity, or opportunity.
It wasn’t until January of 2007 that all of our paperwork was completed and we were ready to accept a referral. Throughout the paperwork process we had discussed adopting 2 children but prepared our paperwork to accept 3 children, just in case.
On the day we were “paper ready” I called our agency and the office director began reading me a list of names to choose from. All of the children on this list had been waiting for some time and many were what is considered an “undesirable” age for adoption. I had originally planned on adopting 2 children under the age of 3 but God had different plans for our family. As she read me the list 3 names stood out vividly. They were twin boys age 4 ½ and a girl age 2.
When Ryan came home that night I looked up the waiting children’s list online and had him look at the names. I prefaced this by saying I had picked out 3 particular children. Needless to say, a shock to him that we might adopt 3. After a few minutes scanning the list of about 14 available children, Ryan chose the same 3 I had chosen. That sealed the deal and we called our agency. The adoption process had now officially begun and we expected that in no more than 9 months, and hopefully less, we would travel to Africa to bring home our 3 children. Unfortunately, that was not going to be the case.
About 3 months into the process I got a call from the agency and was regretfully informed that our little girl’s family had returned to the orphanage and taken her home. Don’t get me wrong, I think it is best for a child to be raised by their biological parents when possible. However, I feared for her health as she had been brought to the orphanage at the age of 2 weighing only 16 pounds and very malnourished.
We were devastated by this loss but not deterred in our efforts and conviction to adopt from Liberia. I spoke with the agency about the possibility of adopting another girl and 6 weeks later we received the referral for a 2 ½ month old baby girl. We were excited and ready to continue down this already bumpy road of international adoption.
While waiting for the adoption and paperwork to be completed in Africa we set about filling our time. We held multiple fundraisers that were well attended by our family, friends, and community. Even though God calls us to adopt, and it is a very worthy cause, it is also very expensive. International adoption can cost from $10,000 to $30,000 per child. We got the rooms ready for the children and child proofed our house. I also read countless books on adoption to prepare for whatever may be.
After 12 full months of waiting, so much for 9 months maximum, we were going to Africa to bring our children home. When we arrived in Africa on January 12th the orphanage nurse informed us that our baby had been sick for about 1 week with a high fever. She told us not to worry and just to control the fever. As she knows from living in Africa babies can often become sick with Malaria. In fact our baby had already been hospitalized once with a case of Malaria. She had tested her and the test was negative.
The next morning we met our children for the first time. Words cannot describe how overjoyed we were. The boys were sweet and affectionate, the baby a precious chunky little girl of 9 months. We played, bonded, and started our life as a new family.
By the 3rd day with the children the baby seemed to be getting sicker. We took her to the hospital and sadly found out that she did indeed have Malaria. The test had been wrong and now we had a very sick baby. I spent the next three days by her side in the hospital. Unless you have traveled to a Third World Country you cannot imagine the conditions we found at the hospital, one of the best in town. As my child laid in the hospital bed fire ants climbed the walls of her crib, cockroaches scampered across the floor, electricity was intermittent at best. We were truly foreigners in a foreign land with a very sick baby that we already loved dearly.
Unfortunately, on her fourth day in the hospital our baby girl passed away and went to be with the Lord. We give thanks that we were able to hold her, parent her, and more than anything fall in love with her before she left this world. We know that God had a plan for her and for us and we must believe that He will not give us more than we can bear. That same afternoon we had a funeral service for her and she was buried in her native country, never to see the beauty and prosperity of America.
This time of great sorrow was bittersweet. While we grieved the loss of our daughter we were in awe of the joy brought to us by our new sons. We were blessed to finally know the kind of love a parent has for their children.
We returned home to a huge group of family and friends on January 21st and our life as a family is now in full swing. The boys continue to bring joy to our lives and we cannot wait to see what the Lord has in store for us and for them.
We thank you as a community for your prayers and support throughout this journey. Adoption has brought us the deepest joy and the greatest sorrow but we are so happy to have followed the Lord’s leading for our lives. He doesn’t promise us it will be easy, but He does promise us He will be with us throughout the journey, good or bad.
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